omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
