Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
