Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
