please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
