careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
