your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
