oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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