There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
