i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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