I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
