just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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