i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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