Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
