i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
