i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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