# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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