I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Naked Twister starts at high noon
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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