I wish I only lived at night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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