I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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