I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
