Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Randomize
