I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
