You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
