i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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