I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
worst night to have a conscience
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize