so explain again why im purple
no
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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