we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
