Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
