honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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