...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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