I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
