I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
