Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
