No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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