she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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