He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
