she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
