Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
worst night to have a conscience
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
