like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
