guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
