i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
