The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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