He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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