I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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