we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
