She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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