hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
