Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
