stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
