If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
