Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
