hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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