Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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