Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
