you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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