Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
