it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize