out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
