No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The air taste purple.
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