just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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