what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
