At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
