Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
