Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i barfeds in our rink
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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