i think my mom watched the whole time
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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