So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
