i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
