So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize