wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
