i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
