There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
