i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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