I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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