there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
