Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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